The Pause

Have you ever stood in front of someone as your best self, giving it your all to seek to understand, to be curious, to show grace and unconditional love. Not walking away, not leaving, just holding space in faith of the best outcome. Only to witness the reaction received seems no where near what is taking place. It feels completely irrational almost as if you are in two completely separate worlds. And maybe that is just the case… It’s clear they have been triggered and it is not about you, or what is currently taking place. And even though it’s clear this is what’s happening it still hurts. It hurts to feel so mis-understood. It hurts to know you are no longer being seen, you are no longer being heard ~ it is the other’s pain body that is showing up.
So wouldn’t this explain a lot?… “How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours.”

I’m not saying I know this to be true, however, it is a cool inquiry.

So, on the flip-side is self-referral – the moment of choice – to join the other’s emotional pain-body with equal reaction or take pause…. an opportunity to do our own work.

I’m not sure about you but I have found it my funnest (yes, my word, it’s a Colleen-ism:}) and TOUGHEST work to be aware of my reactions. To stand in that uncomfortable conversation or situation and beg for that split-second pause before sending off a subconscious, automatic, old belief-pattern reaction – one that is usually never about the other.

We all know this moment and what it looks like. And we also all know that as good as it might feel to shoot off that immediate reaction it is never beneficial in the long run. I mean admit it, reacting in those old belief-patterns can often feel good, like an addict getting that first moment of the high – and yet that ‘satiation’ is only temporary, and typically, very damaging. Damaging not only to others but to ourselves. We are all human beings and love is our foundation. So the bottom line is when we react like this it never feels good to our own heart and soul. And isn’t this ultimately where the work begins? And ultimately where love must also begin?

This kind of work does not happen overnight yet I strongly feel it is such a beautiful place to put our attention.

And so maybe the next time we react on a whim, or are the witness or receiver of another doing the same, might we keep this in mind;

“If I’m not showing grace… have I forgotten the grace I’ve been shown?”  ~John F. MacArthur

…. you just like me, me just like you, it is a daily work in progress.

Big love. ♥

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